I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
