happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
