fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
