Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
