Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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