Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize