Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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