i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can text with my tongue
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I did not marry a roomba.
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