you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
