so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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