I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
