This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
