I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
