I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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