How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
