I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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