Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
pray to the hookup gods
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
