I will die if light touches me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
