my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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