did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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