you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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