I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
