I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
