If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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