I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
