why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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