stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
