the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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