seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
