I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
