Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
