I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Come share oat with me in your robe
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize