She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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