I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
