have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
