mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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