She kept screaming "best case scenario"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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