sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
