if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
