May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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