She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
