mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
