I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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