Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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