If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
