It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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