would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
