he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize