yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
