i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
