So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize