I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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