There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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