So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
