After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
