Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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