...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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