when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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