Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
