So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
