very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
