no, he came in my armpit
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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