Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
