Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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