butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
