I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
