remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
