so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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